Time For Miracles
Gaaa sorry for not blogging lately, didn't feel like it. People lazy nia :P. Well, i typed a whole bunch of stuff and i pressed some stupid buttons and it disappeared and Control Z doesnt work. Stupid. ZZZ.
Ok i had a convo with chrys yesterday, and she was telling me (after i explain to her) that as a friend, she would want me to quit NCC, as a person she said i should continue. So yep, if you know me, i have not really enjoyed NCC for the past whole year. And i emphasis, I TREID ALR. I really tried. I went to training thinking, "Hey it will be fun, just stay happy." And after trainings over, after all the constant scolding, critizism, i just feel emotionally drained.
I put as my Facebook status a few days ago. "It is ironic how my sister loves NCC while i detest it so much". I can't say i hate NCC, i have no right too. Cos you look at other schools, they enjoy their trainings (Daniel and some others). You can call me emotionally weak. But i prefer you not to think that way.
Shall i explain?
Well, duh. I should.
Well, basically. I dont really know how to phrase it. I keep it as short as possible. Given the fact that i have a sister who occasionally checks this place and is also in NCC, i shall say less :D.
So its like, NCC is basically about drills and everything. I'm not afraid to say that its about scolding. Cos through all these scoldings, they really do make us stronger. So i shall push the blame to myself. Maybe, just maybe, its because i'm a prefectionist (Just a minor one, not the die hard-core ones). When i get scolded and it really isn't my fault. We all have to kena, kena pumping, kena scolding and everything, i mean that's so unfair right. Its not like i'm the one who made the mistake. And it just demoralise me.
I mean, i am confident enough to say that i know the drills well enough, and only make occasional mistakes. I mean come on, who the hell in the platoon practise their drills at home other than me? Discipline wise, i am also confident enough to say that i have the discipline (I sound so freaking egoistic here), i mean i dont talk when we're doing drills or anything. Like its not my fault, its those gep-ers (pardon me for my crude language, but if you were in the platoon you would really want to kick their ass)
And the reaosn why i'm CONSIDERING whether to quit or not, is cos after every training. Despite their being a tiny glimpse of pride, i feel so drained, so tired. Like the scoldings make me seem like some kind of retarded idiot who all who do is do things wrongly.
Of course, the sports people reading this will be like. "Walao UG only, then complain so much, we sports leh, 3 trainings a week. Pump like shit" (I mean that's what happen in my class all the time) Well, you can say that my perservance, determination is not as strong as the sports people. Or maybe they just dont understand, i mean after all, there's only one me, one of everybody. But i do have to defend the UGs, how do you know that UGs are weaker than sports, i mean come on. I'm defintely not comparing with sports like rugby, basketball etc. But well, there are certain sports, where you can like not get scolded. I have certain friends classmates who go to their cca and when they are suppose to do their warm ups, they dont do at all. Unfortunately for me, i do not have the talent to excel in that sport :D
I mean i'm in no position to say anything but well, the sports people have to understand that we are different.
Gaaa but there is good points in staying in NCC.
You're discipline defintely goes up, fitness too, perservance also. And when you're in army, you don't suffer that much.
BUT
haha i just thought of something again
Staying in NCC during sec school = suffer in army (suffer less, but in the end, its actually the same, cos there will be people in your platoon who does stuff wrongly and everyone has to kena pumping so what's the point?)
Not staying in NCC during sec school = Enjoy sec school life = Still suffer in army.
Muhahaha, sounds stupid, but that's the way i see it.
Gaaa i'm leaving house soon. Sobs.
Hope you understand, give me your opinion if you want. Haha, cya peeps.
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